


Knowing My Fate Is to Be With You

by HawkMoth



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Let's Kill Hitler, Written in August 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawkMoth/pseuds/HawkMoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A life extraordinary</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knowing My Fate Is to Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece to "Identity Crisis."

******

Where does life begin? 

Where does one person's life begin?

I am more than one person, I am too many people, I have lived (may not live) many lives.

Where did I start? In a child's bedroom with a crack in the wall, in a too-big house in a village lost in Time? 

In the fires of the Vortex, child of my parents, but _her_ child too; which made me like _him_ , almost kin yet so very different?

In the twisted plotting of questioning minds, in their mistaken despair, someone's idea of the ultimate weapon?

******

There was one life, too short; a baby in my mother's arms, with blessings and promises and love stolen away. I lived a half-life, like a dream, then felt Time being torn apart all around me.

Me, more than human, lost and confused. That was another life. Toys on the floor, lessons in the dark. Stars and planets swirling above me. Monsters and strangers and a gentle madman. Twisted and turned, taught and tortured. Something in the shadows, always waiting. I remember it all, but not all the time. He was in my memories--the enemy, the warrior. (In my dreams, the protector, the healer.) 

I did something good, but something bad. I cried for help, but when it came I ran away. I felt my life ending, but I knew how to fix it. If I changed I could be all good, not what they wanted me to be.

There was a new life, in a new time and place. (But the monsters must have followed me. I don't change. I become more of what they planned. The memories blur, but my purpose is always clear.) My friends are good, and more than friends. They are good to me, and I can be bad. Bad is more fun. The stories fuel me, direct me and delight me. (The monsters whisper other stories, more fuel to the fire of their desires.) 

Such good friends. My path is set when I set them on theirs. (Create yourself, the monsters whisper.) All I have to do is wait. There is time. (But there is a blur, a void. I dream of Time cracking and breaking. I dream of him putting it back together.)

Time doesn't matter. I wait, I follow. I find them together as I knew I would. (As I was told to do.) He's everything they said he was. (And everything not.)

The Doctor, Amy and Rory. The truth eludes them and it's so much fun to watch their faces. It's like a dance, and only I can lead. There's interference but it doesn't matter. A wayward shot can't stop me. A whole new body only makes me more eager. This is my time, my moment. What I was born to do. 

Time for Melody Pond to act.

Time to kill.

Kill the Doctor.

And then my life can be my own. If he's dead, they'll let me go. And the world is mine.

(If he's dead there's nothing left. My world will end.)

They said he was evil, that he broke all the rules. He breaks one now and he will not die. He put a word inside my head, and it means nothing. (It means everything.) Another voice calls it from far away. (River.) I feel something strange and new, old and forgotten.

Other voices beg and plead. Save them. Save him. (Save yourself.) 

Then he tells me what I am. And then all I hear is _her_ voice. Her knowledge. Her love unbound.

The love of my parents, lost and broken but never ending. His love for them, and a little girl lost.

With his last breath he tells me a secret (and tells me my future). 

My mother shows me the truth.

Something breaks inside me, shatters the Melody who was already broken. But I can fix that, fix the life which was built on lies.

Save his life with all of mine.

I am River Song, and this is what I choose for myself.

******

I am born again in the dying light. Here is my life, as yet unwritten, all wrapped up with a red, red bow.

Blank pages to be filled with my life (and his). Stories to be told that will be told forever. My story to be lived, not told. I will draw the map of my life, lead myself to the ones who love me, where I know they will be waiting.

This is where my life begins. And it will be amazing.

******

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, the title's from an ABBA song. ("Waterloo," which I had heard on the radio a a few days before writing this.)
> 
> Original thought for a title: "My Life Tied Up In a Red, Red Bow," but I've always liked using song references as titles.
> 
> I had also been watching "The Iron Giant" prior to this, and the last half hour of that always gets me. There's also a touch of Prathett influence in there.


End file.
